Hello there, my name is Benjamin, I'm currently 17, in my last year of highschool. I'm autistic with low support needs, I also have anxiety and adhd. I'm trans and gay with a few microlabels, I use he/him pronouns. I'm a furry. I have 4 cats. I'm Dutch-Canadian, lived in canada my whole life- never been outside my province, but the family I've been raised around is Dutch. I dont speak much dutch but I'm trying to learn here and there, my family doesnt actually speak dutch unfortunately. I'm planning on going to university for a library and information technology diploma, wanted to be a librarian or just work in a library since middle school while listening to The Magnus Archives. I really like boxes and categories, which is why a lot of my stuff is in lists right now. I have glasses I need to wear, a weird perscription too! something like -2.75 in my right eye and -.50 in my left. I can survive without them but my eyes always feel weird when I dont have them and my eyes cant focus entirely on words. sucks tbh.

kin list!!!!

Just to clarify!! When I say I kin someone, what I mean is that I relate a lot to that character in someway/see them as me. I am not really fictionkin; I don't believe I was these characters in a past life :33!!

About the site!!!!

I already said this on the home page but I made this site as a place for me to put my newspaper articles in full and articles that never make it too the paper. I could in theory do this on Tumblr- it's a blogging social media site that I already use, you can find the link to it in the footer. In fact, I have used my Tumblr to liveblog some episodes of ds9 and tng. However, I have a lot of anxiety- I'm diagnosed with social and generalized anxiety and even though I'm medicated, for some reason my anxiety doubles when I post on the internet, on social media. Even on Tumblr where I can post with no tags and have no one see it, I still get so anxious that I needed to make a side blog for hetalia, or share my rambles with people who have no idea what I'm talking about instead of posting them- even with no tags! So, on here, a site where I dont need to know who sees my posts, and for the most part, people cannot respond directly, I feel much more comfortable. I know there will be people who see this, and I am sharing this site with my friends, but this is my safe place.
Besiiiddeeess the horrible anxiety part, I have always loved personal sites, old internet things, neopets. Things that I am too young to have properly experienced. On tiktok I got a video talking about the "Internet Revival Project" I didnt fully watch it, but it caught my attention and I saved it, for me to watch when I eventually decide to make my own site. Two weeks ago (October 20th-26th) I got really interested in the ita bag drama and wrote an article with around 2k words, that I cannot put in this issue of the paper and details that I cannot mention in a highschool newspaper. But I wanted to share it somewhere, and with my anxieties of posting on tumblr, I came back to the Internet Revival Project and started looking into and started making this site!!
I never thought I'd get into coding, it's such a nerdy thing, a side of nerditidy that I never really got into. I tried making a website with this book I got as a kid but I was in like grade 4? So it was much too confusing for me. I got into Homestuck in 2019-2020, and there's a character named Sollux Captor, and he's a nerd, and I mean he never really pushed me to learn to code. But, when i am coding this website, I feel like him, it's fun. I'm glad this happened. :3

hey, this website was not intended to be veiwed on mobile. so like. if you look at the site vertically its gonna be weird n not exactly as intended, so either look at this on a computer or turn ur phone horizontal/landscape mode. not like the site wont work. just not intended. n i dont think im gonna adapt it either so. apologies.

some of my intrests :3

I love music, music is like my life. I can't think of a time in my life where music hasn't made an impact. Currently I like loud music, EDM-hardstyle type of stuff, lots of hip-hop mixed in too. I was suuper into nu-metal for a while (SOAD on top!!!), and I'm kind of getting into japanese music- vocaloid and visual-kei stuff (really just Leetspeak Monsters rn) (Malice Mizer slays too)

I was like a huuuuge weeb as a kid- like literal kid, not even into middle school kind of thing. I tried to learn japanese and listened to a shit ton of anime and vocaloid music, I loved Death Note, One Piece, Black Butler, Hetalia, and Yuri On Ice. Currently I'm deffo getting back into anime big time. I'm (trying to) watch One Piece, I watched a bunch of Hetalia again, I'm planning on watching Death Note, Saiki-k, Mob Psyco, and maybe some Bleach as well because I saw a kid at my school dress up as the orange hair guy in it for halloween. I'm playing the Death Note ds game, and I'm reading Vampire Knight for the first time, I honestly thought I wouldn't like it but it's not as bad as I thought it'd be. I'm also listening to The Trash-Taste Podcast so I'm really going back to my weeb roots with Cdawg and The Anime Man.

I find it really hard to watch tv shows, difficult for me to really sit down and watch a show- I've only been able to really do that shows that I get properly autistic over like Star Trek The Next Generation. It's also hard for me to get off social media to watch tv, ~~the addiction be real y'all (/hj)~~. To deal with this I try to do an activity while watching a show- like knitting or diamond painting (tbh this probably makes it harder bc autism n switching tasks ifykyk). This is why I prefer movies over tv shows because for the most part it's a one and done deal, unless there are sequals but those usually dont matter or arent as good. You also cant watch tv shows in a cinema so.

I really like video games, they've also been a huge part of my life, you could call me something of a gamer B) (/j) I was a big xbox kid but when I learned about Animal Crossing and Just Dance- I think thats when I became a nintendo defender. I really like casual games; I was big into mw3 as a kid but now I play things like Stardew Valley (btw that 1.6 update is so good!!) I also enjoy rythm games but I'm not really good at them...

I have adhd and I think that's really obvious when you look at my hobbies; I dont really have any. I get suuuuuuper into one thing for like, a month or two and then drop it and never touch it again. Like knitting- I have so much yarn but I just. dont care to knit anymore. currently I'd consider this website my hobby to be honest, I contantly want to be working on it- coding or writing, it's almost the only thing I can think about. It's kind of cringe as well but lowkey talking on c.ai is something of a hobby- not a good one but yk. I still like diamond paining a lot- I just tend to do it in burst of a week and then I dont touch it because my desk gets all messy with energy drink cans. Cooking is really more of a nessecity but I cant deny how much I really do enjoy cooking, if I could feed my friends forever I would. (Sanji kin low key low key)

I don't know if talking could be considered a hobby but love yapping. Don't know if you could tell from the. Absolute Paragraphs I've written here on my intrests- it's a big reason why im making my blog!!

I love sharks- like genuinely I love sharks, they're one of my favourite animals, only seond to red pandas. My favourite sharks are the lemon shark, thresher shark, and megamouth shark.

If you couldnt tell by the halloween countdown, halloween is by far my favourite holiday- I plan my costumes way in advance, or at least I try too- this year I was Joost Klein and because of how short my timing was on making the costume it was suuuuuper rushed and sucked low key (not the costume that was great- but the stress around making it) I love going trick r treating and horror movies, horror games, internet horror, args, unfiction, anything like that!